He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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