He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
