Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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