i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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