therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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