He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
