I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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