I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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