She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize