So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize