he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Randomize
