i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
