billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
