are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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