It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
