No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
