The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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