Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
