We won't sleep together?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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