worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize