It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
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as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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