I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
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