i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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