uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
This is my gift to your gina
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
