i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
