He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Pants are for mortals
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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