i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
our cab driver is having phone sex.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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