Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize