I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
