my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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