Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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