I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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