Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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