I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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