we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
