Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
