As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
