if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize