so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
false alarm, still single
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