i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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