That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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