now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
