Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
that's an acceptable place to lick
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
