If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
