its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
