Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
