That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
