I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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