Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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