The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
