If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize