I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
