I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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