ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
