I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
