i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
